I've Never Been So Bare
by Pixaria
Summary: Cas and Dean are roommates at St. Celia's Catholic Board School both in their senior years. Will their secret romance come to light or will they always be hiding in the shadows? *Based on the musical Bare*
1. Hate the Sinner, Hate the Sin

"Who decided church at 7 o'clock was a good idea" Castiel thought as he sat in the hard wooden pews in the church of Saint Celica Catholic Boarding School, struggling to stay awake. He could have skipped and just stayed in bed, God knows how much he would have loved to stay in his room mate's arms for just awhile longer, but he had to go. He knew it would somehow reach his mother if he didn't. As the rest of the student body started to recite the prayer in unison, Castiel dosed off.

"One of these boys just a'nit like the others" he heard the voice of his classmates say. Before he could react some else responded "Loves his female singers, loves to cook."

"Looks around in gym, it pleases him!" a classmate shouted.

"Thoughts enslave him, somebody save him!" they all shouted.

"He knows he's taking chances, and that his romance is doomed!" Joshua added.

"He'd sacrifice his soul to feed his vise, Heaven severed and Hell is forever." He heard the voice of Inias, his cousin, say.

"Dig down deep and save your soul, grave mistakes will take their toll. Every sin is entered in, Heaven comes with discipline." Castiel heard his teachers say.

"But it doesn't all make sense, what I feel is real." Castiel desperately argued back.

"No more dodging, God is watching. His eye is on the lowly sparrow. The road is long, the path is narrow." His loved ones all recited like scripture.

"And your mother, God how she will suffer…" Hester, one of his cousins, said.

"Will your father break to bear the shame?" another cousin, Zachariah, questioned.

"Yes, you were a force in their divorce." The two relatives told Castiel in unison. The two of them smiled at the hurt expression on the face of their tortured cousin.

"Will you drag that poor boy down there with you?" one of the members of the basketball team questioned.

"He's unsure and you can change his mind. If you love him so, you'll let him go." Lisa told him, only so that she could have Castiel's boyfriend for herself.

"But it doesn't all make sense, if the love is strong." Castiel responded, trying to defend his romance.

Castiel sees his mom at the alter as starts reading from the paper in front of her.

"Our first reading today is the story of how despite the best efforts of a single mother, a child can still go horribly, horribly wrong. For his eighth birthday, Castiel asked for an EZ-Bake Oven; his father asked for a divorce. To me the link between those two events  
was as strong as Castiel's attraction to my makeup table. We sent him to Catholic boarding school thinking it might help but when he met his roommate Dean, the two of them locked eyes and I said to myself, Naomi, you wanted grandchildren, instead you're gonna get ambiguous Christmas cards from South Beach."

Castiel didn't have time to react when the punches started flying at him.

"Timothy! Romans! Corinthians! Leviticus!" the attackers chanted at him with every punch. Castiel tried to get help from his classmates, but it was no use they all either joined in or ignored his cries. Castiel started to cough up blood.

"ABOMINATION! ABOMINATION! ABOMINATION! ABOMINATION!" the bystanders chanted as Castiel was beaten within an inch of his life. He gasped to take his last breath, ready to die at hands of his peers, and woke up in hard pews of the church. Castiel was shell shocked, everyone was looking ahead at the priest totally unaware of what just happened inside of the poor bright-eyed young man's subconscious. The bright sunlight shining thought the stained glass windows was a stark contrast of the dark red lighting in the dream. The differences between his reality and his dream made him uneasy.

"Let us go forth in peace, to love, and serve the Lord." Father Michael said. Castiel's attention snapped back to the mass.

"Thanks be to God." Responded the church as mass ended. The students and staff filed out of the place of worship to start their Sunday. Castiel walked to class repeating the Hail Mary, trying to shake the realness of the dream. 


	2. Living a Fantasy

As Castiel walked to class he was pulled into a dark corner by a familiar form in a ratty green hoodie getting into his personal space.

"Hey little boy would you like ride, a lollipop, a puppy? How about baseball bat? There's one in my pants." Dean whispered into Cas's ear, the joking smirk seeping through his voice.

"No thank you," Cas said with a laugh, "my mom said to never talk to strangers."

"So a kiss is out of the question then?"

"I'll take a chance." Dean ducked his head to causally kiss Cas.

"So where were you? Online?" Cas asked mostly since Mass is inhumanly long and there a lot you can do in that amount of time but, also since Dean normally sneaks in for communion and leaves only this time he didn't.

"Asleep."

"Like half the congregation."

"So are we Damned?" Dean asked with mock worry.

"Stayed awake as long as I could." Castiel assured with the scouts honor hand gesture.

"Good catholic." Dean said ruffling Cas's bed head.

"I say we go fall asleep together. Should I bring my baseball bat?" Dean asked in a hushed tone and pulled Cas even closer.

"I think you should." Cas replied, knowing that their first class didn't start until about 30 minutes or so. Dean leads Cas holding his hand until a few guys from the basketball team stopped them and Dean quickly dropped his hand. They told Dean something but Cas didn't listen since this always happens.

When the jocks left, Dean pointed to the janitor's closet said to Cas "Hey let's duck in here and"

"Dean!" said a high pitched voice cutting off Dean's suggestion. It was Lisa.

"Hey have you got a date to prom yet?" she asked.

"Also did you lose my number, because you never texted me." She further queried.

"No and No." Dean quickly replied and speed off with Cas following close behind before she could continue her interrogation. Dean looked at Cas and saw right away that he was miffed an slightly heartbroken. Dean knows how he feels about their relationship and how much he didn't like it being a secret. Dean pulled them into a nearby closet and wrapped his arms around the shorter boy.

"Hey, Cas. This is all just a game. You take my hand, leaving me breathless, take a look in these big green eyes so you'll understand. You know why we whisper in hallways. Babe, I'll be with you always. Forever you and I." Dean whispered lovingly as he embraced Castiel. Dean leaned into kiss his boyfriend's lips when suddenly his mouth was covered by a hand.

"What?"

"Tell me why I should trust you when the girls all lust to touch you?" Cas asked.

"Cause when I have you near me I go out of my mind" Dean asked as he pinned Cas to the wall, "Need help there?" the taller one asked when he felt his roommate's slight erection.

"You're cute and it's tough to argue with a hard on. Think you can lend a hand here?"

"If we had the time," Dean said looking at his watch, "just think of dead puppies and your, I don't know, great-granduncle."

Cas wasn't amused. He started to walk towards the door after Dean got off of him and then he remember something.

"Hey, Dean?"

"Yeah Cas?" Dean asked back.

"I gotta ask you something and don't say no, just hear me out. After school auditions are being held and I thought you should do it with me this year."

"God Cas, you asked the same thing last year. You know acting's not my thing, plus I might go out for baseball, and I don't dance or sing."

"You have never even mentioned baseball. You haven't played since we were 12. Come on it's our senior year and I'm tired of you just being stage crew."

"I don't act."

"I think we're the best act this school has ever seen." That was a low blow and Cas knew it.

"Well then just take a bow"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"Okay, I've got class in a few. And if anyone makes you feel jealous just think about tonight because we're going to shut off all the lights and see how far we get." Dean said as he lent down to capture Cas in a passionate kiss (and actually succeeded this time).

"Was that supposed to shut me up?" Cas asked when they pulled apart.

"Maybe."

"You assbutt."

"Bye Babe" Dean pecked his boyfriend's lips as he rushed off to class.

Cas waited a bit before he exited to go to his next class, Song Writing. Castiel always loved piano and writing poetry and since this class was the only one where he can combine them it was possibly his favorite class. The mocha haired teen walked into the classroom and signed in for attendance. He saw on the board that today the class was to use the practice rooms to work on their pieces. Cas left and found one that was empty save the baby grand piano (tuition money well spent) and bench. The boy shut the door behind him and took out his sheet music and a sheet of notebook paper. Cas had already written the accompaniment and now had to try and marry it to his poem. Cas began to play as he sang to make the poem fit.

"Everything's an act, when you're pleasing everyone. And he assumes that role to such renown. He plays a perfect part, straight from his heart, knowing the risk he takes, and hoping that the house is not brought down."

Cas can't but help picture all the times Dean has disregarded their relationship being more than friends as he sings.

"The role of a lifetime, it's living a fantasy. A drama that you struggle to erase. Thoughts battle words over deeds, a war with such casualties. All played out behind a smiling face. God I need your guidance, tell me what it means to live a life where nothings as it seems. Spending days in silent fear, and spending nights in lonely prayer. Hoping that one day when you wake, those feelings won't be there."

He can't help but remember all the hours of sleep he has lost thinking he was going to hell, or being disowned, for loving Dean. The panic attacks and anxiety he suffered because he was worried someone saw them or his mom found out.

"So confused because I feel complete with him. When we're alone it all somehow makes sense, I look into his eyes for some compromise. Remember the word, forget, and try to bury something so intense. You learn to play the straight man, your lines become routine. Never really saying what you mean. But I know the scene will change, white picket fences, and a dog, a trophy bride, and children. God I know that's what he wants, but Jason what role do I play, am I a savior or a phase? Am I here to damn you?"

Cas knows that if his mom find's out then Dean's father will find out too and if that happens Cas doesn't even want to think about what John will do to his son.

"Or to help you navigate this maze. Where confusion is a crime, so you fill your life with sound, and if you dance like hell, you hope you never touch the ground. What happens when the music stops? In the silence will he stay? One day he'll realize that these feelings aren't going away. So we drive ourselves insane, spinning circles in our souls, as we dance around and play pretend. And once again, reprise our roles."

Castiel remembers when he first wrote this poem. He was 14 and was still uncertain if Dean really meant what he said when he made his cheesy decorations of love in their dorm room and in the notes he passed to Cas. He thought that God hated him and that he was a terrible person. Since then he has bushed the doubt about Dean and God out. But now the true fear is the wrath and hate from the others in his life.

**Sorry for not updating sooner. Also this is based on the musical Bare in case you didn't know that. **


	3. Auditions

The final bell rings and Cas runs to the auditorium. When he got there everyone is running lines for their auditions.

"Yo! Clarence, get your ass over here!" Meg yelled from the back row. Cas jogged over to her spot and put his books down.

"Thank God you're here, I don't have enough to restraint to listen to your Boy Toy's groupie over act the balcony scene and not punch her." Meg drawled. Cas looked out into the house and saw Lisa standing on the one of the seats while five guys fought over being her Romeo. Cas grimaced at the sight, not at Lisa and the boys but at the fact that Lisa was standing on top of the fucking auditorium seat.

"Ugh, I don't understand the big deal about Lisa Fucking Braeden." Cas said with slight disgust.

"Oh I know you don't understand." Meg said with a laugh.

"So I'm guessing you didn't get Dean-o to audition, huh Clarence?" Meg inquired.

"No, he's probably going to stick with crew again this year." Cas sighed.

"Why? He's practically got _Romeo and Juliet __memorized_! I've heard you guys quote it to one another." Meg said.

Meg is the only one who knows that Dean and Cas are together. In freshman year she went to their dorm to ask Cas if he wanted to go to the movies. Her being Cas' best friend since kindergarten she just unlocked the door and walked in unannounced on one of Cas and Dean's more intimate moments.

"ALL RIGHT! Let's get this over with!" Sister Chantelle yelled as she walking on to the stage.

"Now get into girl boy alphabetical order and then we'll start." Sister instructed.

An hour has passed when they get to the end of the line. Sister was about to close the audition when someone ran on from backstage.

"Hello I'd like to audition." Said Dean. Cas and Meg's heads whipped towards the stage.

"OH MY GOD!" Cas mouthed to Meg in Donna Noble fashion.

A week later the cast list was posted after school. It read:

**Romeo – Dean Winchester**

**Juliet – Lisa Braeden**

**Mercutio**** – Castiel Novak**

**The Nurse**** – Meg Masters**

**Tybalt** **– Michael Garrison **

**Friar Lawrence**** – Chuck Shurley**

**Capulet**** – Garth Fitzgerald IV**

**Lady Capulet**** – Charlie Bradbury**

**Montague** **– Adam Milligan **

**Lady Montague** **– Becky Rosen**

**Paris**** – Kevin Tran**

**Benvolio** **– Gabriel Novak **

**Prince Escalus**** – Zachariah Milton **

**Friar John**** – Dick Roman**

**Balthasar**** – Bathazar Roche **

**Sampson – Ed Zeddmore**

**Gregory**** – Harry Spangler**

**Abram**** – Alan Corbett**

**The Apothecary** ** – Jessica Moore**

**Peter** **– Samuel Winchester**

"Mom, Dean and I were cast. We're in the show! I got Mercutio and Dean is Romeo. " Cas told his mom over the phone.

"Best friends playing best friends. How poetic. Give me dates, the whole family will come even you father. I'll make sure of it. Congratulations Castiel, but I'm afraid I have to go now. Bye." Naomi replied.

"Bye Mother." Cas said when he hung up.

_**Sorry for not updating I have a lot of schoolwork and rehearsal. I'll make sure I get the next chapter out soon.**_


	4. Two Warmer People

"Congratulations Romeo, the lead in the play.

Dad will be excited..." Sam said as he sat down across from his older brother.

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to that conversation." Dean said sarcastically.

"Conversation? More like a court case." Sam snorted.

"Aw yes, our dad, the 'honorable' Judge Winchester. Presiding over our every decision." Dean half joked.

"On the topic of parents, don't call mom unless you want to get yelled at and hung up on. She's planning another charity ball." Sam warned.

"Could we have been raised by two warmer people?" Dean asked.

"Eskimos, maybe. Those birthday packages finally showed up." Sam said pulling them out this backpack.

"Not as bad as last year's." Dean commented.

"Oh, the combined Christmas/Birthday/Easter package. They are always early for one of us." Said sam

"What was the worst birthday? My 14th?" Dean asked.

"No, it was the one where we combined my 8th and your 12th! Remember when Dad thought that..." Sam replied.

"...that Mom would..." Dean carried on.

"Total Disaster!" They finished in unison.

"They ended up renting out the zoo and had Bobby walked us through." Dean recalled.

"Yeah, and both of our parents were no-shows." Sam said dryly

"Oh, Sammy, I am so sorry, this day just sneaks up on me every year." Dean said in a mock tone while acting out their mother's trademark pill popping.

"Kiddo, you know I rely on your mother to remind me of these things." Sam said in a gruff impression.

"Hey, remember when he said he'd make it up to me? Two days later I struck out, we lost the game, and he made me walk home alone from the little league park." Dean recalled.

"Here, buy some therapy" Sam said handing his brother an envelope. "Dad's birthday check and...surprise, a note!" Sam read the note aloud:

"Dear Dean: Please find enclosed this package that came for you yesterday. I already talked with Father Gaines and he told me you were in, but call anyway when you open it. We always knew that you'd keep the Winchester flame burning. Love, Dad"

Dean opened the packet.

"Dude, holy shit! I got accepted to Notre Dame!" Dean said as he fist pumped the air and hug his little brother.

"Congrats!" Sam said.

**AN: hey sorry for not updating I've been trying to add to this chapter but I feel the best way is to just post this and start a new one. And I had to change something in the last chapter because I had changed something in my head. Yes I made both the Winchester parents assholes, rich, but still asses. I didn't want Mary dead and John is just John.**


	5. Our Show Today is Brought to You by

"Typical. Of course I'm the fucking Nurse." Meg says pissed off as she sat next to Castiel on her twin bed.

"Hey you get to survive the whole show. If this was West Side Story you would be Anita." Cas tries.

"But still! Why can't the chubby girl play Juliet? I wiped the floor with Lisa in that audition!" Meg angrily says.

"Meg, it's just a stupid play!"

"Oh, says Mercutio!"

"Hey come on, The Nurse will look just as good on your AMDA application as Juliet will."

"But I was better!"

"I know Meg, I know."

There is a knock at the door. Cas gets up to open the door and the gang, save Lisa, starts walking in and starts to sit.

"Hey Lisa's birthday's in a week and I want to get her something good." Michael asks the group.

"How 'bout a pair of faker boobs, or an STD she hasn't had yet." Meg suggests.

"Or you can throw her a surprise party." Charlie adds.

"Yeah we all can help you." Dean throws in from his spot squished next to Cas.

"Really?" Michael asks.

"Come on, Michael. Where's the trust?" Meg asks.

"Trust for what?" Lisa asks as she walks in the room.

"That you've done smut." Meg quips with a smirk.

"We were talking about the rave." Michael covers.

"I've got the snacks!" Gabriel says waving two small containers of drugs.

"I've got the guide!" Charlie says waving a sheet of paper.

"Hey Michael, You think you can get the church's van with your keys?" Meg asks.

"I guess. What time?" Michael responds.

"We would have to leave by nine." Charlie says looking at the map.

"Can I see the map?" Michael asks. Charlie hands it over.

"Guys there is no way to cross this road." Michael points out. Dean takes it from his hands and looks at it till he turns it around.

"Dude the map was upside down." Dean corrects.

"Our parents had it easier, the disco didn't move around." Gabe says.

"Yeah but who can dance to that? And what's with spelling with your hands?" Meg asks.

"Could you ever see them Rolling?" Charlie asks as everyone laughs.

"Okay time for some Chemistry mo'fos" Gabe starts. "Boys and girls our show today

Is brought to you by the letters 'G' and 'K'"

"Wait, What?" Michael asks.

"G and K are two intense drugs you take with ecstasy." Gabe informs with a sigh.

"Anyway," Gabe starts his flamboyant way of informing the group up again.

"Exibit A: K!" he says holding up a small Tupperware container.

"Powder, white, and what a roll, But take too much and beware the hole. The K Hole is a lonely prison full of echoed words and tunnel vision." He take a small amount from the Tupperware.

"This much, heaven's where you're headed. Any more, and you'll regret it!" Gabe puts the drug away and picks up the small bottle.

"Exibit B: G! Comes clear but I colored it blue so I won't have 'I thought it was water' excuse. You're rolling smooth this shit is sweet. Two capful's the most you take, any more's a big mistake. This much after X - well fed! More than that, my friends? You're dead! It's fun for all and all for fun, but keep in mind rule number one: They say, like X, this shit has limits. Play the game player but play to stay in it." Gabriel finishes his lesson with a bow and mock ovation from the group.

"Okay see you all by the gate at 9!" Dean says as everyone, including him and Cas, start to leave.

**WO! Two chapters in a row! **


End file.
